Author: Glenn

Youth ministry is a weird combination of things.  It is fun, hilarious, exciting and challenging.  Yet it can be heartbreaking, tiring and lonely and as in any ministry - sometimes discouraging. . Teens will give you grey hair and they will give you no hair. Every second of teen ministry is worthwhile and will reap eternal rewards.  

Teens are not the future, each of them are unique and precious.  They are a vital and integral part of our world, our society and our church right here right now.  We need them and they need us.  We cannot pour enough time, energy, resources or unconditional love into them. 

 Ministry begins when a person has felt the genuine call of God upon his/her life and walks in Spirit led obedience to that calling.  Ministry isn't who you are it's the calling you have. 

Teens today are extremely over stimulated.  They have everything and they've been everywhere. Not much thrills them, very little attracts them or sparks a big interest. That being the case, teens today do not need a church fun club where they can be entertained. Don't get me wrong, there does need to be a good balance of crazy fun activities you can pull on them. 

Afterschool programs serve a purpose  and need to be in place, these programs however are a band aid solution at best.  One thing that teens do love to do is eat.  This is true physically, but it's also true spiritually.  When a teen gets hungry for the things of God, there is no need to entertain them or depend on bandied solutions for them.  Get them hungry for the things of God and they'll develop a big appetite.  Feed them and feed them well. 

Teens need to experience the saving power of Jesus Christ and what He did for them on the cross.  They need to be completely transformed by the awesome power of God and experience the present day reality of  Holy Ghost empowerment in their lives.   A genuine born again, Spirit filled Christian teen is a huge threat to the enemy and a force to reckon with.  The thing that drives me in ministry is to see teens, saved, Spirit filled and serving God. 

Our mandate in ministry in to take things to a new level, to invest in these young lives, lead them to saving faith in Christ, to nurture them in the things of God and help them grow and mature in their walk. 

I've been involved in youth ministry since about 1985 and  learned many lessons ( many of them the hard way).  I'm so thankful for the godly mentors and leaders who had wisdom, experience and knowledge who were willing to pour into my life. 

There is no magic formula to successful ministry but I've managed to pick up some pearls along the way that have proved to be real treasures. 

The number one thing to recognize in ministry is the fact that you are totally and completely 100% dependent upon God and you need to hear from God daily.

Trying to go it alone is a guaranteed recipe for a crash n burn.  You can't fake ministry, especially with teens.  They'll spot you a mile away no matter how good you perform. 

Here's some tried and true pointers to take to heart; 

-  Share stories from your own life when speaking to teenagers. Show them that 
what you’re talking about is real and personal, not just something theoretical 
from scripture. 

-  Admit failure. No one is perfect, so don’t pretend like you are. your teens will 
respect you more for it. 

-  Learn every teen's name as soon as possible. It communicates that you take 
a personal interest in each of them individually.

- Communicate with parents as much as you can. Informed and valued parents 
will be supportive parents. 

-  Remember, you’re the leader before you’re a friend. Don’t “lower” yourself 
just to gain approval or to be “cool.” Students don’t need another friend, they 
need someone they can look up to and trust. They need solid godly influence. 
Remember - you influence your teens more than you know. They watch you closely both in the church 
setting and outside of church.  Live above reproach, don't give the enemy a foothold or cause anyone 
to stumble.  You are in a place of leadership and are held to a greater accountability.  

 -  Affirm your teens in everything they do and always encourage them, both 
publicly and privately. 

- Utilize a website, texting  or other media means for communication. 

-  Ditch the “Christianese.” Use language teenagers understand. Your deep 
theological preaching and countless hours of preparation don't mean much if they don’t 
know what you’re talking about. Also remember not to stoop to the language that the world uses.
Using the world's language in an attempt to " friendship evangelize" is wrong and does not glorify God.

-  Give students opportunities to write down prayer requests that can be shared 
with the church body. Distribute these requests to adults in your church who will 
pray for them. 

- Promote your youth to the adult congregation and community. Never in a boastful way but 
in order to put a face to what God is doing in ministry.  Teens have a huge effect on a congregation and
getting them involved in community activities is a healthy thing.   It's great sometimes to 
just do a " freebie" for an event or service to the community with no thought of compensation. 

 
-  If you see that a student has a problem or is struggling with something in life, 
don’t assume that they’ll be okay. Never assume that a " church kid" or" Pastor's kid" has it all together - quite often, they don't.
Take time  to talk with him/her about it. Know what your limits are, you need to keep your Pastor in the loop but always maintain confidentiality. 
 Never counsel anyone alone. 

-  Don’t focus on numerical growth -- focus on being a healthy group. Anything 
that is healthy grows naturally. 

-  Don’t take yourself or your circumstances too seriously. Nothing is ever as 
bad as you think it is and nothing is ever as good as you think it is. 

-  When at youth group, try to give kids the same amount of attention. Never show favoritism, they'll pick up on that very quickly.
However, outside of youth group, don’t apologize for investing extra time into a couple specific kids.  Always be discerning and take precautions. 
 Don't put yourself in a situation.  Appropriate hugging has its place but walk with discernment and wisdom.  These days even a pat on the shoulder can land you
in more trouble than you care to imagine. 

- Bring your ideas to the Pastor to get his/her input.  Respect a Pastor's leadership and authority.
Don't go rogue and do something on your own and never start up something because you think you can " do it better" than how things are presently run.   Remember, you are part of a ministry team and you are accountable to your
Pastor .  There are times when a Pastor may make a decision for which he/she may not and need not qualify their decision to you.  Remember, they are accountable to a body of governance as well.  There's a lot going on behind the scenes in ministry that Pastors deal with on a regular basis, sometimes on a need to know or confidential 
 basis.  Trust him/her to keep you in the loop.

-  Don’t do things or say things that are prohibited for the kids. Whatever 
standard you hold for them is the standard you should follow, too. 

- Do ministry out of imagination, never out of memory. Think outside the box.  Create the future 
instead of repeating the past. 

-  Spend plenty of time in the Word. Only with the Lord’s wisdom can you be 
effective in reaching teenagers for Christ.  Prayer is essential.

-  Don’t be shy in taking off extra time when summer camp is over, when you 
return home from a mission trip or even after a busy time of the year. Rest up! 

- Don’t become emotionally attached to every student’s need or try to rescue 
them from every problem. There’s no way you can provide all the emotional 
stability every student needs and not burnout. You are here to support teens, not 
be their savior.  You simply can't be all things to all people, even though there are some who think you should be. 

-  When a student consistently makes a scene, fights for attention, or acts out, 
don’t be too quick to make judgments about him/her. Chances are there are 
things taking place in that kid’s life that cause him/her to act that way. Love the 
student and talk openly about their life issues and then deal with those things. 
There are times however if behavior continues, godly discipline may be appropriate.
 Handle discipline problems privately and one-on-one. Don’t embarrass them 
in front of their peers, it is never necessary and is never in your favor to do so. 

-  Don’t over-react about the problem of cliques. Instead, provide plenty of 
opportunities for everyone to interact and discover each other. Breaking up 
cliques is usually an exercise in futility and somewhat counter-productive. 

-  Never attempt to control everything. You cannot control all the planning, the 
results, the future, the people, the workplace, the weather or God, so don’t even 
try. 

- Get students involved in the life of the body as much as possible. Encourage 
them to participate in leading worship, taking the offering, handing out bulletins, 
ushering, sharing their testimony, etc. 

-  Base your self-worth on God, not the “success” of your ministry. Be diligent 
in investing your life into teenagers the best you know how and then leave the 
results up to Him. 

-  Keep good records of any budget money that’s spent, not just for the church’s 
sake but to protect your own reputation and integrity. 

 
 Don’t hold expectations too high for the kids. Let them come to youth church
and just be themselves. 

-  Don’t feed spiritual consumerism by trying to have the best and greatest 
youth ministry in town. It’s not a competition, it’s a ministry. 
A "cardinal rule" in ministry is YOU NEVER MESS WITH SOMEONE ELSE'S MINISTRY.
Never actively recruit from some other youth group.  Never encourage a teen to ditch
 their present group to join yours. 

-  Use media to promote your ministry, but be careful 
how you advertize.  Allow the Holy Spirit to draw them.  Word of mouth from
the teens you have is huge PR and it's free !   

 
- Don’t dwell on problems or get upset when something doesn’t go right. There 
is no such thing as a perfect youth ministry. Focus on what really matters: 
reaching and discipline kids for Christ! 

-  Spend more time nourishing your own soul than you do preparing to nourish 
the souls of others.   You have to receive for yourself from God before you can give. 
(you can't impart what you do not possess)

-  Dream a huge vision for the future and be passionate about it! Passion is 
contagious and will take the ministry in exciting new directions. 

-  Expect to make mistakes. The only bad mistakes are the ones you don’t learn 
from.   

-  Create a safe environment for students and then model the transparency and 
vulnerability you want them to display. Don’t expect them to open up and share 
just because you’re the leader. Allow time for trust to be established.  If you ever breech confidentiality,
a teen's trust may be permanently damaged, or gone completely. It may also be cause for you to be removed 
from ministry. Nothing erodes your credibility faster than making promises you can't keep or threats you can't fulfill.

-  Set time aside for yourself to relax and have fun. In one sense, you need to 
put yourself first because if you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be any 
good to anyone else. 

- Teach your kids to sacrificially give of themselves by providing opportunities 
for service in your church and community. 

-  Create an atmosphere of “belonging” by plastering your youth room and 
office walls with appropriate posters, pictures of the students and your activities together. 
Give them a safe, clean, teen friendly place to meet that they can call their own. They tell us that It's better to have lots of people crowded into a smaller room than to be in a large empty cold one.
Encourage your teens to " take ownership"
A sense of family goes a long way. 

-  Always build them up, especially when they fail or are embarrassed in front of their peers. 

- Be sure to ask your students for their input An occasional survey is a great idea. 
 Make sure they know that their opinions are valued. 

 

-  Make sure all sermons are highly applicable and relevant to 
individual students.  Only preach what God has laid upon your heart.  Unless you've heard from him, you have no right to go off and expound on anything.
There’s nothing worse than teaching lots of deep facts that  remain largely disconnected from a student’s life or something you've not experienced yourself. 
Always preach the full counsel of God - 100% truth ( even if it hurts ) with no compromise.

 

-  Every once in a while get together with your students just to reminisce 
about all the good times you’ve had together, how you’ve grown and what God 
has done in your lives ( chat time).

-  Never get so busy with events and scheduling that you can’t spend time with 
kids. 

- Whenever problems arise, make sure you first review them with your Pastor. Remember, there's two
 sides to every story so don't jump at everything you hear. 
 This is the best preventative maintenance you can do to protect yourself 
and the ministry.  Gossip and unfounded allegations have no place. Deal with them decisively and quickly.

- It is essential that you protect your flock.  Be extremely careful and discerning with regard to who is involved in teen ministry.  There are a lot of wolves in sheep's clothing who look good and sound great but their underlying motives can result in major problems, and division that can ultimately
ruin a ministry. Not everyone who thinks they should be in ministry should be in ministry. Keep the standards, your teens are worth it.  if someone wants to help but their own life does not reflect a Christ-like role model quality - forget it.    

-  Get involved with your local public middle schools and high schools. 
Participate in events and introduce yourself to the principle, teachers and 
coaches.  Try to attend events that your teens are involved in. 

 Go out of your way to meet parents. When you call a student’s house, create 
small talk with the mom or dad if they answer the phone. Also greet parents 
warmly as they drop their kids off at youth group and pick them up.  Let parents know how much you appreciate  their teen and the fact that they allow them to come.
Remember, you are not just ministering to that teen, you're ministering to a family.
What is happening in the home will come out in that teen at church.

- Don’t hold an event just because it’s cool or sounds fun. Be purposeful in what 
you do. Make absolutely sure it's Spirit led. 

-  Do whatever is necessary to make sure every student that comes to your 
youth group feels welcomed and unconditionally loved. If they already belong to another group, make them feel welcome
 but advise them not to ditch their current Pastor or group because your action appeals to them more. 

-  Give kids a quiet time to worship. Our culture is so loud, so noisy, and so 
intense. We’re so deeply immersed in it that we don’t really notice the screaming 
volume until we intentionally take time to focus quietly on the Lord. 

-  Unfortunately, people don’t always change overnight, so don’t become 
frustrated when your investment into a student doesn’t show fruit right away. 
Continue to love on him/her and let the Holy Spirit work through you in His 
timing. 
Sometimes only eternity will reveal the rewards in ministry.
 
 Strive for excellence in all you do even if it means limiting the calendar. It’s 
better to do a few things well than lots of things half-way. 
Teens can spot something that is thrown together or done with little planning or effort.
Do it right.  They deserve the very best !

 

-  Have fun and make sure others have fun along with you. Play games, tell 
jokes, share funny stories and watch funny video clips from YouTube. Create an 
atmosphere that makes kids think, “Wow, I love this place! I have fun with these 
people.” 

-  Meet kids on their turf: in their homes, their schools, their athletic fields.
 You’ll learn a lot by watching them in their different environments. 

-  Take in  retreats  or conferences with your kids. Relationships that are 
formed during this time will be invaluable to your ministry. 

-  When only a few students show up (or even one!) for a youth meeting, don’t 
express disappointment . Let those who do show up know they’re just as important as those who don’t. 

-  Develop students to be leaders every chance you get. Have them lead games, 
 lead worship, , shoot video and anything else you can think of. Ensure that each student will succeed in their 
task. Never accidentally set a student up to fail. 

-  Run background checks on everyone who works with your youth, including 
yourself. Make sure everyone knows the proper procedures for reporting abuse 
and getting help. 

- Never joke around about sensitive issues, such as homosexuality or abortion, abuse, incest etc.
You have no idea if a student in your group quietly struggles with one of these 
issues and will never talk with you about it because of your “joke.” 

-  Know your limits when you counsel students. Most of us are not 
professionals, so don’t tackle situations where you’re not trained. Ask your 
Pastor for help.  He/she can evaluate a situation with you and use their contacts to
 refer the student or their family to a trained professional. 

-  Do your research before spending budget money. The money is generously 
donated by the people of your church to further the Lord’s work, so be the best 
and wisest steward of it that you can possibly be. 
Never mislead people by asking them to support something you're not really doing ( it happens ! )
 
-  Asking students to open up and share sometimes doesn't work in a group environment.  Make them know that you are available to them.
 be patient with them and let them  know that they can trust you in confidence. Make them feel comfortable and safe.
  Eventually, they'll open up.

 

-  Always reinforce to students that you love them, care about them and enjoy 
spending time with them. 

- Talk about  the shows your kids watch, what movies they go to and what music they're filling their heads with.
Keep up with what they’re seeing and the latest values they’re hearing.  Watch what they post online.

-  Plan events well in advance. This allows you to organize it well, iron out all 
the kinks and make it as effective as possible. 

-  Become a good listener. You’ll learn much more about your group by 
listening then you ever will by talking. 

 -  Discover the spiritual gifts of each student and find ways to use each of them 
in the ministry, even if you have to create new aspects of the ministry to do so. 

-  Let students get to know the real you by involving them in your life.
 Remember that you have a life outside of ministry too so pace yourself carefully.

-  Whether you like it or not, you are a role model. Don’t take this lightly. Be 
very careful of every word you say, every action you perform and every attitude 
you communicate. 

-  Make sure your ministry is pleasing to God before it is pleasing to other 
people. After all, He’s the one you’ll stand before and give an account for what 
He’s entrusted to you (Romans 14:12). 

-  Find uncharted students in the community who don’t know your church 
or your students and get them to come be a “secret shopper” at your youth 
meeting. Give them a questionnaire to work through about their youth group 
experience and talk with them about it afterwards. How many people talked to 
them? Did they feel welcomed? What suggestions do they have for you? 

- Don’t complement students only on their outfit, haircut or new shoes, which 
places the focus on physical appearance for approval. Instead, build students’ 
self-image by complimenting their character. "I’m proud of you for telling 
the truth when asked about cheating on your algebra test.” 

-  Be the first one to arrive at youth group and the last one to leave. Make the 
most of every opportunity to talk with kids as they arrive and while they wait to 
be picked up. Nothing turns a teen off more than having to wait in a cold church 
parking lot alone for someone to show up and open the door or to pick them up.

 

- Create safe forums where students can openly discuss and question 
Christianity. Encourage them to ask the hard questions of their faith and 
investigate what they believe. If you don’t, their university professors will. 

 -  Remember that real ministry is sometimes more grind than glamour. It often 
requires getting into sticky areas of depraved lives and doing whatever is 
necessary to encourage growth and maturity. 

-  Unfortunately, part of the territory that comes with youth ministry is 
criticism. When it comes, humbly listen to any words of advice and filter out 
what is unfounded and misunderstood. You are ultimately responsible to God 
for fulfilling what He’s called you to do, so don’t get too discouraged. God’s 
approval is more important than man’s approval. 
It seems that every church has "that person" who will find fault with everything you do 
and give you a constant ear load of non constructive criticism

 

-  If you struggle with any sinful addictions, get help! Talk to your Pastor. He/she cares about you and
 has your best interest at heart. Just because you’re in a position of church leadership does not mean you can’t or shouldn’t talk with 
the Pastor about your struggles. Take care of it now before it ruins you, your 
ministry and the people you serve. 

-  Do outreach solely from a burden for lost souls, not as “recruitment” for 
your youth group. 

- Significant growth takes place through experiences, very rarely through 
head-knowledge studying or teaching. 

-  Know what you do and why you do it. Communicate it often. 

-  Do more spiritual discovery with students than for students. 

-  Go through great lengths to be creative in ministry. Never let the sacred cow
become routine for yourself or the students.  If someone tells you "it's never been done" 
don't necessarily see that as a red light.  If something you try is a flop, take a step back, revaluate
and pray about it. Try again as the Lord leads. 

- Develop a missional mindset in your students by viewing your town as a 
mission field. 

- Work hard in ministry, but don’t give your life to it. Decide what matters 
most and learn to say “no” to everything else. 

-  Be yourself. Don’t try to be someone you’re not by acting “cool” or trying to 
use current jargon in a poor attempt to be relevant. 

-  Always publicly support and speak well of your Pastor and church 
leadership. Any conflicts and differing opinions should be dealt with privately 
behind closed doors. 

- Think through the first impressions a visitor might have of your youth 
group. How can you make their first experience as positive as possible? 

-  Relationships have a greater impact in ministry than teaching and lectures. 

-  Pay attention and remember the little things in a student’s life. It means the 
world to them! 

-  Be consistent. It earns respect and proves your dependability. 

-  Don’t pray like a wuss. Continually saturate both yourself and the ministry 
in prayer. Pray even for the little things. 

- Remember, under the mask of that " hard case" or apathetic teen,
there is quite often a scared, insecure individual who needs you.

 
I dedicate these thoughts to Rev. Richard Trenholm, Rev. Paul Cassidy and Rev. Chuck Price who inspired and nurtured me in ministry.